Recently away from a 10-year relationship, I became truly naive about
hookup culture
and intercourse as a whole. Searching back, I see
numerous red flags
for the man I dated for five several months after my breakup. Here you will find the indications we missed that I happened to be dating a closet gender addict.

1. 
   The guy desired to have intercourse constantly.
   
   We were making love at least four times every day. To start with I didn’t understand it was strange; I’d been hitched for a reasonable time before we dated him and so I don’t know very well what was actually a “normal” quantity of intercourse. As I was actually married, normal used to be per month, when we began internet dating this guy, i simply believed he was actually, really drawn to myself. After all, I
   
   am
   
   quite amazing.
2. 
   He was painfully bashful.
   
   I understand this does not appear to be it suits, but he met all his girlfriends on the web, thus I assumed he would never had a one-night stand. I could never ever visualize him picking right on up a lady in a bar. Ends up, the guy came across everyone on Craigslist, Tinder, or other hookup apps. Now I am perhaps not claiming all bashful dudes are closet gender addicts, but we
   
   am
   
   stating that getting shy doesn’t tip it out.
3. 
   The guy appreciated ladies in all sizes and shapes.
   
   In an amazing world, all males would never value any female’s flaws. In reality, we’ve all outdated guys that has their unique preferences and dislikes. He’d none. Initially I was thinking it actually was empowering; the guy appeared to
   take me for me
   . However point out ladies the guy discovered attractive, plus they varied from rail-thin to obese, gothic to black hair, pale epidermis to dark colored epidermis. We never when believed poor about any part of my body in which he never made me feel unattractive, but later on, I experienced to question: that is actually drawn to
   
   everyone
   
   ?
4. 
   He’d some strange sexual encounters within his last.
   
   Exactly who are I to evaluate if he did some things that I wouldnot have? Failed to we all have a past? In the beginning I found myself thrilled to have found some body thus available. I intentionally failed to respond when he told me in regards to the time the guy came across a man on Craigslist becoming regarding the obtaining end of a glory opening. (It wasn’t gay, he explained, since he could not start to see the man. He viewed right porno whilst guy sang dental on him from behind an article of cardboard.) Then there was committed he participated in a threesome, and also the time a woman involved their work so the guy could fist their. I have to confess I enjoyed enjoying their stories, but I happened to be just starting to get worried that situations he’d carried out in his last would be circumstances he’d desire again inside the future.
5. 
   He viewed porn… a large amount.
   
   From the our very own basic talk about pornography. He had been extremely amazed to know that i did not have trouble with it. Exactly how could I influence that he was not permitted to enjoy pornography? That would mean
   
   I
   
   wasn’t allowed to watch it, and
   We loved porno
   . Unless it prevented him from attempting to end up being personal with me, I didn’t see difficulty. It never turned into problems; the guy constantly nonetheless wished sex. It wasn’t until as we broke up that he admitted it had been preventing him acquiring his work accomplished through the day.
6. 
   He possessed his own company.
   
   Should you decide consistently need to enjoy porn, masturbate, swipe on Tinder, or arrange craigslist hookups, just what better day job to own than to becoming your very own manager? The guy could keep several times through the day without any person knowing—including myself.
7. 
   He’d never ever tell me his “number.”
   
   I didn’t ask outright but we joked about this. He explained he’d never ever tell me his wide variety. We included upwards their previous girlfriends and thought that wide variety. He chuckled and said, “Probably much more.” I figured he would dated more girls than I would read about. I never ever guessed he’d connected with the amount of haphazard folks.
8. 
   He was actually, excellent at sex.
   
   I was thinking it absolutely was because we were very in track emotionally. He taken notice of my signs during intercourse like no other guy had. Because ends up, he would only had some exercise. Though i really couldn’t stick with him when I realized he had been cheating (because of so many others!), we’ll remember him as greatest gender I ever had.